


Can't Help Being a Taurus

by Calicornia



Category: Naruto, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 17:01:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19398505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calicornia/pseuds/Calicornia
Summary: The year is Twentydiabetes, and the moon isn't safe from Nagito Komaeda.





	1. Chapter 1

The year was Twentydiabetes, but only in France. The Femdom Colony of Lebsians stood proud in their decision to ban Fake Skrillex. Guitar solos filled the air.

Gundam Femdom Tanaka was ready for the day, but not the night. Nights belong to darkness, and Gundam couldn't let the darkness win. Not this time. The Clown Prince of Lies was on his way. And he was gay. But not too gay, because the year was also Twentyhomophobia.

Oh snap!

Clap clap clap!

Guy Sensei's hoes clapped out the child of death, Bart Blackstar Kirishima Bakugo Simpson Uzumaki. The 4,096 french years have passed since the last birth of a child of death, the only children hatched from the denizens of the Femdom Colony of Lesbians.

Hermes? She was the mother, and by jo(lyne) did she clap. Only Bart Blackstar Kirishima Bakugo Simpson Uzumaki could best Hohenheim at Farmville, his ninja skills allowed him to harvest crops twice as fast.

"Once we see the Farmville final boss, then we will end homophobia." The Femdom Colony of Lesbians Ambassador, Gundam Tanaka, alerted the president.

Fake Lady Gaga smirked.

"You've done well, Tanaka." Fake Lady Gaga bestowed him with many strap ons. They weren't dicks, but My Chemical Romance albums. Tears flowed.

Josuke Metallica was nowhere to be found.

"Man, I'm nowhere to be found." Josuke Metallica strolled through Idaho, the potato hoe is someone else. Jackspeticeye has entered the group chat.

"Hey Josuke Metallica, why are you nowhere to be found?" Sean asked.

Josuke Metallica cried tears that weren't his. His tattooed ass vibrated for he knew that being a marsupial was no longer special. Not with Bart Blackstar Kirishima Bakugo Simpson Uzumaki taking the reigns. 

Nagito Komaeda's nefarious plot had begun to unfold, and so did his foreskin. The moon was not yellow, but that's what made this so great.

Piss flew like soup right onto the moon. Komaeda's laugh was not heard because it's space and sound doesn't travel through space. Eggman clapped. Hermes? She couldn't clap. Not for this.

Mista arose from the dark side of the moon pumpkin patch. His boyfriend, weeaboo drug dealer Thomas Jefferson had told him of the intruder. What a day for Guido, for he had escaped to the moon after his coochie exile.

Mista pissed in revenge for having his ass removed. The two streams were like a rasengan and a chidori.

"I wonder what that reserve course cow is doing." Komaeda looked into the sky. There's a sky on the moon now. Mista and Komaeda's piss droplets began to drip down on the Earth.

A wet feeling hit Officer Cloudy with a Chance of Mistabus. It was the piss. Time to send a bus to the moon.

All Might led the Lesbian Gay Busexual Transportation service, Jolyne and Guy Sensei had towels ready. It was time to clean up the Mista-kes!

Komaeda could smell the bus from several miles away.

"I can't help being a Taurus!" Komaeda whispered and aimed his stream at the bus. Hermes? She was hit.

"I can't believe Nagito Komaeda pissed on my wife!" Jolyne cried out.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two: We Gotta Add Joestar.

Bart Blackstar Kirishima Bakugo Simpson Uzumaki had a quest, a fetch quest. Given to him by none other than Fake Lady Gaga. Get the Farmville speedrun any% world record, and get Hohenheim off that damn phone. Only then would he earn the Joestar.

It was the past now, Josuke Metallica's time machine worked. Black Hair Ascension Kirishima stood at the basketball court, the bugaboos had been BTFO'd by Koichi's diss track. All seemed to be lost.

Vegan.

Dance.

Moves.

Mina Ashido had begun. Black Hair Ascension Kirishima grew red hair on top of his black hair. Josuke Metallica sighed. That's how he grew bangs on his pomp. 

Koichi sipped his caprisun.

"Hand over your caprimoon, or you're gonna see capristars"

Little did he know that was his first alcohol. The caprimoon was drained of liquid, just as the moon was undrained of piss.

It was.the future again. Nagito Komaeda had a hose full of hoes, all clapping for him while he pissed on the moon. Guido Ascension Mista checked his Frozen Discord Server. Discourse was on the rise, someone had posted Elsa foot porn.

"Harley Quinn is in the new Joker movie." Komaeda was on the phone with Hajime. His piss controlled by his mind.

"No, she isn't." Hajime said, annoyed.

"Yeah she-" Komaeda's phone didn't feel so good, and began to disintegrate. The Thanos Car had snapped, erasing half the phones in existence. Doppio wailed in pain, how would he phone boss?

"How will E.T. phone home now?" Mista ceased his pissing, a massive crater in his wake. "More importantly, how will Y/N phone home?"

Yuno Nuccellati was phone, but it was the past now.

The corn corpse were on the high, but it was the future now.

No more corn for you, Guido.

SAILOR MOON!

All Might drove the bus over Guido, but he Mista by an inch. He pulled an illegal space u-turn and yeeted the bus right into Nagito's balls. 

Piss splashed, and the bus crashed.

"Oh my Shirtless Hopey Hajime!" Komaeda lost his special marbles. His collector's edition Wally West marbles. "Oh no not my collector's edition Wally West marbles."

Komaeda french cried in incel.

Kazuichi Souda was watching an e-girl. A blowfly e-girl. I don't know who Jeff Goldblum is!

"Oh yeah, show me those blowfly titties!" Souda didn't masturbate, he amateurbated. The blowfly clapped, and Souda fapped.

His computer disintegrated immediately just as he was on the verge of achieving the grade A anti vegan cummy wummies. The Thanos Car strikes again.

"NOT MY CUMMY WUMMIES!" Souda threw the ghost of his computer into the wall. The wall now had a ghost hole, but an unfuckable one.

Souda grabbed his birthday boy. It was time for a party. Hoss Delgado clapped. His vagina deep vagina energy? It also clapped. Hermes? She was unable to clap.

"Hey Lois, remember the time?" Family Guy watched the sun disappear.

"No Petah, I can't remember anything anymore." It's revealed that Lois is actually just a mannequin.

"What did I tell you about sucking Nagito Komaeda's peepee?" Family Guy shed a single tear as the sun vanished. It wasn't his.

Caprisun was no more, neither was caprimoon.

We only had the capristars.


	3. Chapter 3

"I don't go to the doctor, I go to the divorce court." Hohenheim chuckled as he beat his former Farmville any% speedrun world record. "A B C D You aint got no alibi, you ugly! Hey hey! You ugly!"

Bart Blackstar Kirishima Bakugo Simpson Uzumaki farmed his corn. The capristars were in his favor.

F is for Fullmetal Alchemist.

Edward Mustang the Mukbang banged his muk, his corn shucked. There was nothing like a good corn mukbang. He thanked the capristars, they were in his favor.

"You can't stop someone shaped like Bimbo Captain America!" Josuke Metallica was in the present now, his marsupial powers awakened. The Caprimoon now had only homosexuals. Twentyhomosexual was now in effect, but only on the moon.

Space Cancun had sent their greatest units to combat the pissers. Lars Fuccellati and his friends.

"Fugo... This is my final fuccellati!" Lars fired a non vegan beam at Guido Mista.

The year was now Twentyxboxlive.


End file.
